“Mother” is a wonderful word in all its many forms. That first “Mamamama” is music to your ears. “Mommy”, accompanied by two little arms wrapping themselves around your legs and a little face shining up at you, brings a swell of love to your heart that threatens to choke you. “Mommmmmeeeeeee” shrieked at the top of little lungs and accompanied by tears and stamping feet is still precious in its own little way – unless you’re in the middle of a restaurant, store, or church, in which case you’re wondering why you didn’t just get a goldfish and call it a day.
The first thing to learn about me is that I LOVE my children – in capital letters! I always wanted a big family – lots of happy, smiling faces around the dinner table; lots of love; lots of laughter. My children would run home from school to tell me about their day…. they would sit in our warm, homey kitchen while I dispensed love, motherly advice, and chicken soup. There would be nothing I didn’t know… nothing I couldn’t handle…. Mother Earth personified! From that first bout of morning sickness that lasted seven months, I eagerly awaited the magic arrival.
Well I didn’t get the big family, but as I always tell my children, since I was only going to have two children it’s great that my two are so perfect 🙂 And we certainly do have lots of laughter! But I discovered there was plenty I didn’t know, and my motherly advice was sometimes as welcome as my chicken soup – that is to say, not at all.
Somewhere along the way from “Mamama”, a mother goes from best hugger/cuddler/ story teller to public enemy number one. We not only makes the rules, we must enforce them. We are in charge of homework, discipline, dentist visits, doctor appointments. We must be strictly accurate in what we say, because at some point we will be called out on any discrepancies. I once made the mistake of telling my daughter she would NOT need a throat culture at the doctor’s office. I never did that again. The look of hate she gave me over the doctor’s shoulder as the swab was stuck in her mouth seared me to my soul, and caused the wall behind me to burst into flames.
You love them, you worry about them, you embarrass them, you are embarrassed by them. No one has the power to hurt you like your child, and yet you would kill to shield them from all hurt. You adore everything about them, even during those moments when you wonder why you didn’t take a vow of celibacy and join a convent. You worry more than you ever thought possible, and you develop detective skills that would be the envy of the FBI.
And you know what? It’s all worth every second of it – every sleepless night (pretty much from the moment you are handed the baby in the hospital till the present day), every gray hair, every tear, every feeling of complete inadequacy. My life was changed by the word “Mom” – into something wonderful, heartbreaking, love-filled, painful.
And you forever see the world as a beautiful burst of color, bathed in sunshine, filled with laughter and tears when you see it through Mom Eyes.